Wats up bitches fantasy is back!Tryin to get my Roger Goodell on I was attempting to make some rule changes and turn this bad boy into a keeper league/auction but not enough people were having it, so were gonna do the same thing we been doing, just a regular draft and not a keeper league.Maybe next year I’ll work on the “enhanced season” but we’ll see.
As most of you know we have a new member to the group, Mr. Paul Williams.He is replacing our Oakland Raiders in Erymas, so competition is going to be a little bit harder this year so you all need to step your game up.Also, Paul has a history in writing sports stories for our very own Towson Tiger’s newspaper the “Towerlight,” so Paul I am expecting some good stories out of you, and expect some harsh feedback since you’re a Redskins fan and you stole Donovan from me.
I also think/know you should check out this chain we got going.All of us post things on it all day, really kills time at work, but it can be a big advantage for posting something for fantasy, such as trade offers, bold predictions or anything else.Check it out, write something funny, and be apart of the cool kidz group:
*A big rule change this year* As Erm did last year, if you come in 10th place, you’re out!Every year who ever is in last place gets replaced with somebody new the next year, that will keep you bitches from giving up half way through the year or tanking games. (Wait for it) Ok I’m just kidding, but I know some of you just had a minor panic attack (except motz who either is too lazy to click on this page or stopped reading after the 1st paragraph cuz he cant read).But I don’t want another situation like Erm where he didn’t make 1 roster move after week 3, or tanking games at the end of season for BS reasons, none of that **** here.
As for the money, I don’t want to have to hassle everyone all year like I did last year and wait til December before I got a lot of your money.Mike, Nickerson, Josh, send me a check in the mail for $50 sometime in the near future, everyone else try to get the money to me by draft date or within that week.Danny, since you never paid me last year you owe me $105 this year and if I don’t have that money im kicking ur ass out.There will also be a suicide league again, $5/person, this time only 1 strike, let me know if you want in.
I also want some tradition in this league, 9 of us have been in this league for the past 3 years going on 4 and I expect this to continue for many years to come.I am going to make a trophy and the winner gets to hold on to it for the whole year until a new champ is crowned, kinda like our version of the Stanley Cup (pictures will come once I make it. Kiss the ring bitch).
As for the draft it’s a snake draft im assuming and its live this year so be ready. Rules are the same as last year (check the settings on the website if u forgot), and the draft order will be determined on Tuesday randomly by the computer once we all sign on.If you’re in Bmore I recommend you come over, it is more fun that way.Make sure you are here by 830, because that is when the draft starts and we’re not waitin on you.As always best of luck, hope we all enjoy nfl.com instead of foxsports and lets have a good year.
The home made trophy is a great idea me n my friends at home have one...
Also in terms of payment I know fish said he would put the 20 he owed me for the 13 run pool (sorry bout them royals) towards the season. Is it safe to assume you'll do the same Nick? If not let me know and I'll figure it out.
Back in high school we stole a statue off this girls front steps. It lived in my trunk for a few days before we returned it. When we did we noticed the head was missing. A few days later I heard something incredibly heavy rolling around my trunk. Lo and behold the head was living back there. We never gave it back and named it Colonial Penn (we were very high and the statue was dressed like something out of George Washington times). So it lived on my book shelf in my room until we finally built a statue, and our main man Colonial Penn became the center piece. That my friends is the legend of the Colonial Penn Trophy.
Before we get to the list, I need to say one thing: RELAX.I know how serious a little unofficial power rankings can be to some people and how they might actually take offense to not be rated high enough (or even worse and get pissed off) but for this week and this week only I did the ratings based off points, highest = 1.Also, I know some of you might have a problem with my **** talking, so again, relax.This isn’t real football, I’m completely joking around, none of us are taking the field so it’s not like we have to “back it up.” If you can’t have a little fun with fantasy and talk a little smack to your boys I don’t know what to tell you.Oh, I know what to say, since I’m the defending champ, you can kiss the ring, bitch.
For the next power rankings, (probably in a few weeks when we have a better idea of who’s a contender), you won’t be so lucky. Then half the league can argue that the 4th best team really was the best team in the league and it was all luck and I’m an idiot and don’t know ****.But for this week, let the GM (drafting) and the coaching (putting the right players in) do the talking:
1.Paul (1-0):The rookie coming out strong in week 1 with a crazy performance out the gate, topping #2by over 30 points! (which by the way, he played).Paul, you got a nice little team, but let’s see Foster put up those kind of numbers consistently before we crown your ass.
2.Forster (0-1):Same old story, monster points but yet still caught an L.And the L doesn’t stand for Luck. (side note: Matt Forte for 30 points? I’m still waiting for Steve Slaton to have his breakout game.Don’t think I won’t pick him up!)
3.Mike (1-0): Our version of the Colts.Won it once, and will always be there in the end, but does he choke in the playoffs?Only time will tell, except this year you can’t ride Mr. Drew Breese anymore, instead you have to live with 41 year old Brett Farve and up and down Carson Palmer. That’s like going from Val to Boobatosa. BOOM ROASTED! (I’m kidding! But she does look nice and slim in her facebook pics.Not that I was stalking or anything).
4.Motz (1-0):From defending champs to missing the playoffs back to back years, to this? Yes, I was just as surprised as you were to see you won and cracked 100 points.Looks like that 10 minutes of prep time before the draft really paid off this year.Is it time for this fantasy winning champ to make it back to the playoffs, or will he be back to his old self next week?If I know Motz, he’s busy searching the waiver wire trying to keep this winning streak alive.
5.Fish (1-0):Unlike the Jets, I do a little smack talk and then lay the smack down!Some non-money winning owners compared me to Al Davis after some of my bold draft moves.After 1 week, my boy Javid Best backed up the smack talk I did for him and scored me 2 tds.Did his 20 yards help his team win the game? No, but his 20 points helped me win mine, and for that I thank you.
6.Nick (0-1):The highest of the non 100 week 1 club.Tough day for your boy Spiller. On the bright side he did edge out a top tier fantasy player in Big Ben this week, by a mere 1.40 points. KEEP IT UP! (side note: If Nick had to give me a list of all the players he hates it would look something like this: Tom Brady, Cedric Benson, Santonio Holmes, Bart Scott, and division rivals the Baltimore Ravens and Cincinnati Bengals.So who does he have on his team: Tom Brady, Santonio Holmes, Ray Rice and Cinny’s Defense. Can I offer you Cedric Benson in a trade?)
7.Kearns (1-0).Man that 73-66 win over Joe looked a lot like the Jets-Ravens defensive slugfest on Monday night.And I’m not saying that because it was a good game, I’m saying it because you have the Jets defense and he has the Raven’s defense and they were your leading scorers.
8.Nickerson (0-1).Like I just said, when your defense is your leading scorer with 12 points, chances are you’re not going to win very many games.But don’t worry, with all the free time you got on your hands, I’m sure you’ll spend hours of it researching waiver wire pickups or trades with Josh to give your team a 2nd life.
9.Danny (0-1).This is karma for telling us we will be seeing you around so much in Bmore that “we are going to get sick of you,” which resulted in 1 night that you never even made it past pregame.Go out and get **** faced, you woulda scored over 100 like Motz. I hope you read this before it is too late.
10.Josh (0-1).One day in and the phones are heating up with trade offers!You’re gonna give up faster on your team that Philly fans with Kolb.AP with 10 and your other RB being knocked out for the season in the 1st half isn’t gonna happen every week, but starting Oakland’s D vs the Titans??I wouldn’t stress, you got Joe Flacco coming off the bench to revive your season! Oh wait, you already offered him to me in a trade. I’d rather have Oakland’s D.
I was high on their defense! turns out I was just high...
I've already made the corrective measures and am ready to kick your ass this week fish. This is a whole new breed this week. But yes Flacco is still available HAH
where did everyone go on this message board? Why is kearns a **** head and not posting? Where's my favorite mozzstery? I feel like mikey would be gold on this piece. Where the hell is everyone. Im sitting at work bored as hell hoping for soemthing to talk about on here.
ya idk wat else i need to do, i posted the link on all there facebook walls, posted it twice on the fantasy website, i dont get it either. motz danny n erm were all regulars and now i havent from any of them in 2 weeks. this would b great for both mike and even paul since we talk to much football i dont get it
i was off work monday so this week has been crazy for me. the message board usually doesnt pick up until wednesday afternoon/thursday morning. eveyone knows you can discuss weekend plans until after lunch on wednesday at the earliest so it should see some more action
josh, nick got his i never ordered one. it looked good from wat i saw.
and nick- ur excused, but every1 else is not. i dont understand why ppl like mikey or paul havent at least checked it out or how danny went from posting on saturday nights to MIA. and monday/tuesday should be all nfl talk, and then wend-friday is weekend talk.
Player of the week: Arian Foster Goat of the week: Shonn Greene/Mark Shancez play of the week: Rashard Mendenhall game winning 50 yard TD run in OT to beat the Falcons Bonehead play of the week: Officials calling off Calvin Johnsons GW catch Jacked Up: Flacco on first play of the game/Keller by Ray Lewis Surprise contender: Cheifs Surprise Bust: 49ers C'Mon Man: Chargers PR of -20 yards to the 1 and nearly a safety Best Rookie: Dez Bryant 8 catches (12 targets) for 56 yards. (Best had 20 yards on 14 carries for a 1.2 yd avg. so dont come with that weak sauce) Worst Rookie: CJ Spiller (ugh) 6 yards on 11 carries Week 2 breakout player: Brandon Jackson Week 2 fallback player: Arian Foster
foot-in-mouth of the week... Brian Hartlinahaha - Mike Wallace had 65 yards in his first game as a #2 with freaking Dennis Dixon throwing to him... wheres your boy at danny??
if vick played all 4 quarters his stats would have looked like this: 344 yards passing, 204 yards rushing, 2 tds passing. i dont no how that doesnt quailfy him for player of the week? its not his fault he only played 1 half.
fish get off his nuts they lost... you sound like you want to give up on kolb already after 1 good half with no game planning against vick... typical iggles fan
who had the better game: dennis dixon or mike vick? gotta give it to dixon for getting the W
p.s. vick has never passed for 300+ yards in his life
1st of all i was kidding, i think u no me better than to double his stats from 1 half and think it is an accurate assumption. 2nd u robbed all my points about vick when i was talking about kolb and y he should b a starter once healthy. 3rd, vick has thrown for over 300 yards before i actually think he did it vs the steelers twice, u were even at one of those games. 4th, dennis dixon did not have a better game than vick, he was the only reason y the steelers didnt blow out the falcons cuz he cant throw past 10 yards, the dude is a career back up at best while vick is a former pro bowl qb n still one of the most dangerous players in the nfl
Technically he is 0-0 since he was not the starting qb. dont become a vick hater now all of a sudden u no u wanted him on the steelers when he was a FA. plus he would fit right in to the way steelers do business, thugs and potheads!
barron made the right play that night, if he didn't hold orakpo romo was going to be CRUSHED, officials miss holding all the time.
o-lineman are taught to hold in a situation like that because the officials miss it TONS.
that being said, there is absolutely no reason to leave barron solo vs one of the best young pass rushers in the game in brian orakpo especially after they took a timeout.
they should have given barron help, backup RT vs the teams best pass rusher? who wins?
i didnt want vick on the steelers when did i ever say that? and dont be a vick lover all of a sudden now that hes the starting QB. your avatar last week was Kolb, i see you were quick to replace him with vick haha
it was a 3 man rush, i guess they felt like they didnt need 6 guys to stay in an block, he is, or at least should be, a professional tackle in the nfl. it was the last play of the game so they needed players in the end zone to score
Florio's take: With Mike Vick making his first start since 2006, the question becomes whether he can play like he did against the Packers, who weren't prepared to face him, when facing a Lions team that knows Vick will be the guy. Lions coach Jim Schwartz never has had to defend Vick; when Schwartz served as defensive coordinator for the Titans, Schwartz's team was the last one to play the Falcons before Vick returned from a broken leg. Look for Schwartz to try to keep Vick in the pocket in the hopes that he'll be forced to throw -- and that he'll force a few mistakes. And then Kevin Kolb will get "healthy" quickly.
Florio's pick: Lions 20, Eagles 13.
Lions over Iggles?? With Vick at QB?? NO WAY... haha
titans at home vs. Steelers without Big Ben... i think titans +12 is more accurate haha
seriously thou, i dont think CJ2k rushes for more than 100 and i think the steelers win a low scoring game. the D looked pretty freaking good against ATL last week. theyre healthy now and back to 2008 form. if steelers win this weekend they will go 3-1 without Ben and they are more than playoff contenders.
besides, steelers like being the underdogs. When you have a team full of leaders you know that stat lines dont mean ****.
Sorry for the delay on our weekly fantasy story, as my boy Drizzy Drake would say: “Better late than never, but never late is better.” I know you all expect great stories from me, so I am here to deliver. Last week I did the power rankings, this week I decided to change things up a bit and go with a little twist, what NFL team is most comparable to yours? Now obviously it’s only been 2 games and a lot will change, but through 2 weeks here is how I see it:
Fish (2-0)
NFL Team: Saints. This one was easy, not only are we both defending champs, both currently 2-0, and both have Drew Breese leading our squads but that is not were the similarities stop. So far both are not blowing teams out like we did last year, but winning games we are suppose to win and keeping that undefeated streak alive. Both are also looking to repeat, and here’s to hoping that trend continues (and by both, I mean me, f**k the Saints).
Kearns (2-0)
NFL Team: Steelers.Both 2-0 and both are always there at the end.Like the Steelers, Kearns used defense in week 1, holding Nickerson to 66 points in the victory. *Sidenote* I would like to congratulate Kearns “Fantasy Herpe” Darren McFadden for having a big week 2 and helping Kearns secure the victory.For those you don’t know, a fantasy herpe is a player you can never get rid of, no matter how bad he sucks the year before.Kearns has had run DMC for 3 straight years now, even though he has never proved anything on the field.But I know Kearns, and he’s not going to let a herpe get in the way of a good time, and by good time I mean victory.
3.Forster (1-1)
NFL Team: Colts.Both 1-1, both played a very strong opponent in a tough week 1 loss, and both whooped ass in week 2.You also know both of these teams are going to make a strong playoff push…only to choke it away in the end haha.
4.Paul (1-1)
NFL Team: Packers.I know the Packers are 2-0, but both these teams are strong preseason favorites with a chance to win it all.Just like the Packers, we expect Paul’s team to be good and to be a force in the playoffs. But in reality we just don’t know how good the Packers really are, and we’ll see later in the season with Paul how your team stacks up during the bye stretch with that weak ass bench you got.
5.Motz (1-1)
NFL Team: Cardinals.Ahh this is more like it.Both the Cardinals and Motz surprisingly won in week 1, but both came down in week 2.After a playoff birth for the Cardinals, what did they do to improve their team?They lost Kurt Warner to retirement, traded Boldin, traded Rolle, and lost Dansby in FA, what did they do to improve their team? Umm.. (searching).Since the draft ended and Motz hit gold with Chris Johnson, what has he done to improve his team? Umm..well…he picked up Oaklands D’s and a backup TE, that’s what he did!
6.Mikey (1-1)
NFL Team: Giants.Wait, wasn’t I the one who compared him to the Colts just last week, and now I’m saying he’s more like his brothers team, the Giants?Why yes, and let me explain.Both Mike and NY looked great in week 1, showing maybe they still had a little magic left from their Super Bowl year.And just when you think there contenders again, they lay a dud in week 2 and were not exactly sure what to make of them.I have a feeling Mike is going to bounce back (although life without Drew Breese is rougher than you thought) unlike the GMen who usually show there frauds by week 10.So first it’s the Colts, now it’s the Giants, both QB’s are Mannings, and where are the Mannings from? New Orleans.Where is Mike currently working? The Gulf Coast.Coincidence?I think not.
7.Danny (1-1)
NFL Team: 49ers.Both were smacked in week 1, and both made strong improvements in week 2.Just like Danny, the 49ers always find a way to just miss the playoffs, and every year everyone thinks this is the year they finally make that jump.Danny, just like the 49ers, it’s time to step your game up if you wanna make it to the dance.Also, if Danny were a coach, something about Mike Singletary reminds me of him.Don’t ask why, but I think it has something to do with the stopwatch hanging from his neck.
8.Nickerson (1-1)
NFL Team: Bengals.Both looked horrible in week 1, and both had strong wins over a championship contender in week 2.Both also did it without a QB, Nickerson with half a game from Kevin Kolb/ David “good move fish” Garrad, and the Bengals with Carson “I haven’t been good since 2006” Palmer.And if you think Palmer is still a good QB, then umm, I have some trade offers to discuss with you.
9.Nick (0-2)
NFL Team: Cowboys.Both were having Super Bowl expectations, but both came out with 0-2 starts, yet both don’t think the season is over.Both also have questionable players on their team, Cowboys with no leaders, and Nick with half his bench either injured or suspended.Also both team’s big-time player maker in Felix Jones and his clone CJ Spiller are averaging right around 1.2 points per game.
10.Josh (0-2)
NFL Team: Eagles.Wait, I’m comparing my favorite team ever to the #10 team in the league? Hold up, the reason this makes sense is because 1. Everyone has written off the Eagles like they’re not going to do anything even though that is not the case, and everyone assumes Josh team is done but you just can’t write off a team that has AP and my man Mike Vick.But there real comparion is reason #2. They both don’t know what the hell to do with their QB.Normally in fantasy, you target a QB in draft, pick him, and stick with him unless he gets hurt.With Josh, he thought he had his franchise QB in Romo (McNabb) and his up and coming in Flacco (Kolb).But then came along Mike Vick, and both Andy Reid and Josh found out he is a force and now have a difficult desion to make at QB every single week.See doesn’t this make sense now?Also, another similarity #3, both Andy Reid and Josh have no idea what they’re doing.Relax, I’m Kidding! Andy Reid knows exactly what he’s doing.
ahh just a warning i got a pretty good one coming, either later 2nite or def by tommorw. not sure how funny its gonna b since the jokes rnt in it but the theme is going to b very good i think u guys r gonna like it. i wish more than 60% of the league reads them, thts the only thing holding our league back right now i feel
Wow what a week 3.After Monday Nights epic Bears vs Packers game, it got me thinking, that is one hell of a rivalry.What makes it so special is that they have been playing each other 2 times a year for over 60 years (maybe longer), they both have won Super Bowls, and every time they play each other it means more than a simple game.That is going to be followed by another hell of a rivalry next week with the McNabb lead Deadskins coming to Philly to get their ass whooped.With all these early season big game rivalries I started thinking, what about our league?Some of us have known each other for quite a while now, and there’s always competition between us.Maybe in the past it’s been about competing in beer pong or who can drink more, or even competing with each other apart of WestSide, but for all of us there some games just mean more than others.With that said, I am here to bring you the top rivalries of Show Me Your TD’s! (And make sure you let me have your input of this topic.)But first, I would be remised if I didn’t mention some highlights for week 3:
#8 Nick (1-2) over #3 Kearns (2-1) 107.98-107.74
Nick, searching for his 1st win and looking for a major upset over previously ranked #2 Kearns, was up 24.88 points and only had to hope Aaron Rodgers would score less.So what happened?Rodgers scored 24.64, meaning Kearns lost by a mere .24 points.I’ve seen close victories, but nothing can top that.Literally, only 1 play throughout the entire last game of the week could have been the different between a win and a loss. Aaron Rodgers meaningless pick at the end of the half (-2), or the fumble at the end of the game with the Packers driving for a game winning score.Or even with 4 seconds left the Packers could have tried a Hail Mary instead of long distance rugby.One play.When I said the Bears vs Packers game was epic I didn’t mean cuz it was the Bears vs Packers, I meant because that game will forever be known as the “Aaron Rodgers Game” in this part of town.
#5 Danny (2-1) over #10 Josh (0-3) 118-113
Another close one. Josh finally breaks 100 only to have Danny top him by 5 points. Well Josh, at least you got Nickerson next week.Good time to have AP on your bye!First team to 70 wins!
#1 Forster (2-1) over #4 Fish (2-1) 116-98
Revenge game.Forster wanted it more after losing in the playoffs last year.More on this later.
#2 Motz (2-1) over #9 Nickerson (1-2) 124-98
Motz as the high scorer for the week and in the drivers seat for a bye after 3 weeks, who would have thought?This game reminded me a little of when the Broncos played the Pats last year.Just as Nickerson won Motz a title a few years back, it was like Josh McDaniel vs. Bill Belichick, one of his former protégé.Nobody thought the Broncos could pull off the upset vs his former boss, but he did, and that is precisely what Motz did to Joe this past week.And yes, I also realize Motz stopped reading after the 1st sentence and has never heard of any of the guys I just mentioned.
#6 Mikey (2-1) over #7 Paul (1-2).94-69
Wow, after Paul putting up 140 in week 1, everyone had you preseason favorites and now you can’t even put up 70 and are currently out of a playoff spot.Paul, you remind me of Arian Foster and the Houston Texans as a whole: a little underrated at first, then after the 1st game everyone was ready to say you were the next great thing, and now people aren’t even sure if you’re for real.And like you, The Texans also don’t have a lot of history in the league and are very inconsistent, only time will tell if this holds true.
With week 3 wrapped up, I bring you our league’s TOP RIVARLY’S!
4.“The Chase Cox Bowl” (Danny vs Nick).
Personally, I like the title of “Guns vs Blunts Backyard Rivalry,” I think it fits better,( something about Danny in the backyard drinking Jack trying to hunt Nick who’s hiding smoking a blunt and laughing somewhere) but there is a lot of history between these 2.Whether it is over a nickname that both claim to be theirs, years of living with each other dating back to their grade school days in the mean streets of Moco, to even having a 4 team Super Stacked Fantasy league with just the 2 of them, whenever these 2 meet up, bragging rights are always on the line.
3. “The Almighty Bowl” (Nickerson vs Mikey)
Mikey, nicknamed Almighty and looked up to by Joe, (which is ironic being that he is 100 pounds lighter, 2 feet smaller, and would get eaten alive by Joe), is always a battle. Whether this odd couple are battling in fantasy football like last year’s 2nd round playoff game, talking **** on a message board in fantasy baseball, or even wrestling over a bottle a tequila, this game always represents one thing, and that is respect.
2. “Top Dog in Show” (Fish vs Forster)
Whenever these two play each other it usually means high stakes. Whether it was last year’s San Frans D’s 35 points or Aaron Rodgers 45 point playoff game, normally something crazy happens as well.I could easily make the Saints vs Colts comparison (mainly because I compared myself to the Saints and him the Colts just one week ago) I actually think this rivalry is more like the Eagles vs the Bucs in the 2000’s.Every year it seemed like the Eagles would knock the Bucs out of the playoffs, and almost every year it happened.Until one year in 2003 when the Bucs came into the Vet and shocked the world beating the Eagles in the NFC Championship game, going on to then win the Super Bowl.Forster seemingly always has one of the top teams but something always tends to happen.Last year was my year, but Forster just like the Bucs, maybe this is your year. (Or maybe I pulled a reverse jinx on you and once again come playoff time I will knock your ass out haha).
1.“Curse of the Dumbass” (Motz vs Kearns)
Where Mike vs Nickerson is all about respect, this is the complete opposite.If nick-naming your roommate and close friend “Dumbass” doesn’t show that right off the bat, this “Curse” dates back to 3 years ago.It was the 2nd round of the playoffs with Motz, who didn’t know **** about football, playing Kearns who clearly had one of the best teams in the league squaring off. Nobody thought Motz had a chance, but then a blizzard happened in multiple cities with Kearns having Moss (27 td year) and Braylen Edwards both being greatly affected by it.So what happened? Motz pulled the upset, and this is where the Curse began.Everyone thought it was a fluke and most people never thought much of it, especially when Motz hasn’t reached the playoffs since.But then you look a little closer and see 2 of Kearns losses 2 years ago were against Mr. Tomlin.No big deal right? Then Motz only had 3 wins the entire year last year…and guess who 2 of them came against? That’s right, every since that playoff game Kearns has never beaten Motz, (and Motz probably has no idea).But shhh, we don’t bring it up around here, and who knows if the Curse will Strike again, but seeing that they are currently ranked #2 and #3, I have a feeling the next time they meet the stakes might just be a little bit higher. Only time will tell. Until next week…