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The Vegas Vacation weekend has come to an end, and we all made enough memories to last us for years to come. It will prove to be one of those things in your life, that you don't fully recognize how epic a trip it was until you think about it later.

Now, for what you have all been waiting for......

Vegas Vacation

The Legend of the Tramp Stamp

by Chase Emmanuel Cox III

 On a calm Friday morning in Baltimore five comrades embarked on a dangerous mission to a place they call Sin City. They were set to meet up with two more of their own. Their mission was clear; drink as much alcohol to make sure terrorists haven't tainted the supply with chemicals, find out if the Mafia still ran Vegas by winning at the casinos, and interrogate and research the very complex and misunderstood hooker.

       Like a highly trained team of recon Marines, each member of the group had a specific set of skills that would ensure the success of the mission. Papa Nick was the leader. His acquired his respected style of leadership from his single year at West Point, only to be kicked out for being too bad ass. Chase Cox came from a long line of theologians, and could diffuse any situation with a well placed joke or riddle, often stunning his aggressor into shear confusion. Texas Tay was the brains and braun, he'd been known to crush alligator skulls with his bare hands, and can smell hookers and cocaine inside a radius of .5 miles. You get him close, and you bet your ass he will find them. Diego Splash was new to the group, and they did not yet fully trust him, yet he came from a strong bloodline, much like the Baldwin's. His resume spoke for itself. Nacho was a guy with only one name, like Seal. You don't mess with one name guys. He brought to Vegas a wealth of knowledge and experience handling big game animals, and training them into becoming weapons. The group hoped he could apply this technique to the hookers. Queso Tomlin graduated from the Barnum and Bailey training academy in 2003 as an experienced trapeze artist, and his impeccable balance and stamina were going to prove valuable in this mission. Two female operatives were RELUCTANTLY recruited as sex bait. Double D, was a fiesty one who is often compared to La Femme Nikita from the popular television show of the late 90's. Keri Hilton was a rare cross breed of American muscle, and Samauri power. She had some experience yielding the ever dangerous Katana as a child.

       The team met at BWI Airport and immedietly went to the bars to fill up their liquid recepticles. Once they were ready to go they got on the plane to Vegas. They knew they had to appear like other people going to Vegas, so they drank tons of Jack Daniels miniatures to prove they were trustable. It worked. Once they got to Vegas they all met at the hideout, Tahiti Village.

       Knowing they had to feel out the employees of the complex, Chase Cox had to feel out the first employee he saw; the man at the elevator. With years of interrogation experience, Chase saw right through his many "thank you's" and countered back with stronger and even more pronunciated "Thank you's". The team never found out if that man was a friend of foe, but the tone was set. Don't mess with the team.

       Once they were all in costume, they proceeded to go to the casino and start their mission. Once there, Texas Tay and Papa Nick went to the craps table, and proceeded to win money and generate a buzz, hoping that if the Mafia were still in charge, they would not like this, and pull them into a back room to hurt them. This did not happen (Good for the Mafia), so the first part of the mission was complete.

       As the team split up, an unexpcted target of value was spotted by Splash. Josh Cribbs, WR for the Cleveland Browns was all by himself. He was vulnerable, like a chicken in a coop of badgers. Chase was sent in to gather intel. This is when Splash broke the cardinal rule, and interupted abrubtly. After calling Mr. Cribbs by the name of a second year player who not once has made a play in the NFL, he was yelled at and his cover was almost blown. We had to get out of there.

       The team finally met back at the bar area for some drinks, and to regroup. This is where Chase made the first and very crucial mistake of the mission (allegedly, innocent until proven guilty ****er$). The two girls, who were dressed as hookers in order to blend in with the crowds, left Chase their purses. Chase let them leave his sight for 4.7 seconds, and when he turned back to pick them up, they were gone. In the distance, for a split second, he saw Josh Cribbs scurry around the corner with the purses throwing up his middle finger at Chase. He considered pursuit, but knew it was foolish, as he is a white and Mr. Cribbs was a black. He was already a full 40 yard dash ahead of Chase.

       Knowing that our identitys could be comprised, we had to go back to the hideout and regroup until the next morning. Chase Cox adamantly recommended sending the women home or locking them in the room, but was unsuccesful. The team decided we should sleep it off, and hit the streets in the morning and continue on with the mission.

       The next morning everyone decided we would have to get back out there, but we had to change locations. Before we went back out Queso was convinced to get a tattoo on his lower back, as this would only prove that he was not a threat to ABSOLUTELY everybody. Boy did this work. Since it was just to dangerous to go back to the first casino we all put our thinking caps together and all decided only one place was acceptable.......HARD ROCK. This is where the next major mistake of the mission was made. Queso Tomlin had been tactically fufilling his mission of testing the alcohol, but but he became negligent. When the team arrived at a steep and daunting escalator, he felt it was important to show off his skills acquired as a trapeze apprentice. About half way up the escalator, Queso Tomlin experience a wicked wind gust from the southeast, and was blown off the rail 40 feet below, striking a sun-glass revolving display. Knowing he just exposed himself to very dangerous attention, he did what we are all trained to do, run.

       After Queso received medical attention from a group of haggard women in the form of a cigarette, we regrouped and continued on to another casino. The next casino proved just as dangerous as everywhere we went we were handed cards for free admission to clubs and bars. Chase Cox quickly collected these cards. He had seen this tactic before. They were wired! Using evasion techniques acquired in Somalia, he quickly handed these cards back out to the general public. This surely sent Mr. Cribbs and his gang on a crabshoot.

       That night we all were tired of having to consistently watch our backs, so we rented out a private cabana room in one of the worlds most incredible clubs any of us have ever witnessed, XS. The bouncers were on the look out for our team, so we had to slip by security by paying off the weak willed ones. We continued our mission, and polished off 3 bottles of fine spirits in a span of hours. This is where Texas Tay used his deception and manipulation to try to get some inside information about hookers. Knowing that the only way to do this was through sexual intercourse, Chase was recruited to trick two Asian females, who resembled hookers into beleiving that Tay was a multi-millionare. It worked, and Tay was easily able to fukc information out of his subject. This was by far the highlight of the night. Texas Tay was later given the Bronze Star with Four Silver Oak Leaf Clusters for his actions that night.

       Knowing the mission had been completed, the team decided to treat themselves to a fine dining experience. They ate $3 clams, drank expensive champagne, and all struggled to get that pesky lobster tail out of their stupid fukcing shell. After dinner they team decided to enjoy some desert; consumption of alcohol sprinkled with a hint of gambling. Chase Cox and Nacho decided to challenge each other to a Jack on the rocks drink off, in which Chase smoked him. Tay and Papa Nick enjoyed some final craps time and healthy ****tails. It was a fitting end to a great mission.

       In the end, each member of the team proved to be a valuable assett to the mission. The female operatives were much less active, more of a liability then anything, and have sinced been banned from any future missions of such sort. I kid, or do I?

THE END

hahah this was both funny and well done. A+ post

haha, what r ur plans?

haha send him a pic message and include me on the text and lets see what he says.  its hard enough to meet up on a friday happy hour with him even tho i told him i would go to a bar 10 minutes from his house, ive pretty much have given up.  even if you were serious, the chances of him going to vegas with us is somewhere between .0001% - .00001%.  when was the last time u even seen him?

anyway, u got any halloween outfit ideas?  i dont like the idea of winging it 2 days before like i normally do for bmore halloween haha.

so your gonna wear just nice clothes? so unorignal

NIIICCCKKK

give me a packing guide on what you are going to bring...